Without wishing to state the bleeding obvious.  The biggest difference between men and women when it comes to having a baby is, as women, we’re the ones  having the baby! What this tends to mean is that not only do we do the big job of growing, nurturing and tending to our little peanuts.  It also means we  tend to connect to the fact that this rather life changing event is happening a bit quicker.  This ultimately leads to us doing most of the planning, reading, prepping, online buying and all of the stuff, that can keep you either busy or knackered for 9 months.

That’s not to say that our partners don’t get involved.  They do, but certainly when I look at my own pregnancies and then those of my friends and clients; the guys (and yes I am being openly sexist and directing this post at Mums-to-be with male partners in crime) that are all in, from the get go, are fewer and further between.  If you have a keen bean, pat yourself and him on the back and tell him, that he’s lush – if you haven’t already done so today. 🙂

So, the reason for this post, is that I actually get more than a few calls and  emails saying I really want to do this but….My bloke thinks his mind’s going to implode and you’re going to get him to eat mung bean soup if we come to your class how can I persuade him otherwise? So here are my 4 top tips to get your Baby Daddy, playing full out right now.  

1.  The Easy Way or the Hard Way?

Let him know that you’re the one that is going to be giving labour and that it can go one of two ways – the easy way or the hard way.  Ask him which way he would prefer.  Then ask him which way he thinks you would prefer.  And then ask him which way he thinks your baby would prefer.  (At that point most guys immediately give in, but just in case the money thing comes up, please read on to point 2.

2. It’s All About the Money

Lots of men feel like that hypnobirthing is a bit expensive.  Depending on where you are based, rates will vary, but in London you’re looking at anything from £250 for a group courses up to £450 for private sessions.  So when money is the only issue, I really don’t think it’s an unfair question to ask, how much would he pay to have you (and him) really ready to focus on the newest and most important thing in your lives once the real deal begins?   Without putting too fine a point on it, when women have positive birth experiences they tend to find stepping into their new role as a mother much easier than women who have had difficult or traumatic labours.  But don’t get me wrong, even when you’ve had the most positive of births; looking after a brand new baby can still leave you feeling a bit like a rabbit in the head lights, at times.  But, a positive birth allows you to be there, be present and focused on working it all out.  Rather than replaying the past, focused on what might have been or how negative things were.  As someone who sees both sides of the coin, within my practice, learning the tools to create a positive birth is really priceless.           

3. Team work

Let him know that this is your opportunity to start your new chapter of parenting together.  If he says – yes but aren’t we doing that at NCT?  You can explain the difference.  NCT is about buying friends babe ;-).  (I have to say I bought some of the best friends in my life at NCT so I’m not really knocking it ) Hypnobirthing is about helping us to work as a team, so we both know how to stay calm and relaxed on the day that we meet our peanut and create the best possible experience for everyone.

4.  Lush Food 

In reference to the mung bean soup.  It’s not on the list.  Tell him that we hypnobirthing practitioners, take an oath to only serve up the best chocolate biscuits that money can buy.  FACT.

So my lovelies.  I hope that’s helpful, do let me know if you’ve been able to use any of these tips for anything other than antenatal class persuasion.  And if you have a fail safe way to get your partner on board, for things that they’re not really feeling, PLEASE, leave a comment in the box below to.

So, ladies.  Now you have some tools in your armoury – use them!  This is important to you, you partner will get so much more out of it than he possibly imagined for himself, you and your baby and whilst I am all about ‘Happy Mum’.  What I know for sure is, happy Mum, happy bump 🙂  So what are you waiting for??