Did you ever meet that girl? You know, the one who had been talking about and planning her wedding before she’d even got a boyfriend? She’d been imagining her dress since she was 5 years old…And if you dared to mention colour schemes, she’d be able to dive into her wedding box and pull out five different napkins!
Now I’m not going to lie, in the past, I would’ve probably looked at that girl, with a mixture of pity, whilst discretely checking the room for exit signs. But now, as my daughter approaches the ripe old age of 1 and a half that ‘Wedding Planner Woman’ is my inspiration. I’ve been planning how I’m going to talk to Coco, about her birth story, almost from the day she was born and as soon as she has a few more words under her belt, I’m going to relish telling her all about it. And here’s why.
Fear about giving birth often starts with our mother’s story and because it’s our mothers’ story, by default it often becomes our story. When it’s positive, great. But if the tale is one of pain, trauma and difficulty; whether we consciously appreciate it or not, that story hugely impacts the confidence we have, in our own ability to give birth in a positive way.
When we watch the TV, or read the papers, we know it’s the drama that sells. And so it makes sense that the majority of stories that we see, feed into this ‘business model’. Only going to re-enforce that giving birth, for healthy women and healthy babies is a dangerous thing for us to do. So, is it any surprise that at the stage many of us choose to start a family and begin thinking about our own births properly for the first time; the knee jerk response is to bury our heads in and the sand and not want to think about it at all?!
This is why the Wedding Planner Girl is now my inspiration, as I look to continue the cycle of positive belief in birth throughout my own family. I was so touched when my younger sister and VBAC (vaginal birth after a caesarean) mother of 3, told me that she had been inspired by how labour and birth could be, after seeing me give birth to my son, before her youngest daughter joined the brood. And I love the fact that my son had just finished his breakfast upstairs, when he met his baby sister for the first time and the look on his face said it all….He knew something amazing had happened, just feet beneath him. And I see it with the parents that I show my hypnobirthing videos to every day, surprise, awe, wonderment and then the seed of possibility….. The possibility it doesn’t have to be like they’ve seen in the movies. And for them that’s where it starts. 🙂
But wouldn’t it be amazing for that seed of possibility to be unshakable faith for Coco? An always knowing, that both she and all other women are capable, built and designed to make, carry, create and literally breathe life into their babies without fear. Completely trusting of nature and her body’s ability do the job that it was designed to do. That’s why I have to start now. The reason that the ages of 0 – 3 are so important, is because it’s here we lay, so many of the foundations that will shape our beliefs and the way that we act in the world later on in life. So by sharing her amazing birth story, talking about the tools and techniques that allowed her to be born gently and calmly into the world without fear, will create the type of faith and belief that I so wish her to know. So as I look at birth with a Wedding Planner Girls perspective, whilst encouraging my daughter to do the same, you can see, in my eyes it’s never too early!
So I’d love to know what you think? Is two years old too early to be thinking about positive births and if so, when is the right time? Please leave your comments in the box below.