The Curse of the Spiritual Entrepreneur
After talking about this on a recent vlog, life popped up and hit me straight in the face (it sounds a little more aggressive than it actually was) with this lesson. And as part of my commitment to share what I’m going through without the Clarendon filter, I’m going to say it and I’m going to say it LOUD, so we both can hear it.
Stop looking for fucking SIGNS!
I know as a mindset mentor and in many of the spiritual bibles I have on my bedside table.
I have heard it said many, many times that the signs are everywhere and whilst I DO believe that, I sometimes feel the constant quest we’re on when it comes to looking for the meaning of life.
Yes, that’s what you’re looking for. Even you.
This means at times we get our knickers in a twist.
Case in point.
I have been feeling a little off for the last two days.
I genuinely and usually wake up feeling happy to be awake and excited about the day ahead but for the last two days, I’d lost my snap, crackle, and pop.
This meant that I started looking at things a little differently.
I wondered if I was manifesting things that were slightly out of alignment because I wasn’t feeling great.
Maybe, maybe not.
Heck, I even did a live stream about it.
Then last night two hours before I was due to start piloxing I started to feel terrible.
Stomach in knots, lower back throbbing and I felt terrible…. not like me at all.
And there it was confirmation that I was manifesting a fake illness to get me out of working out.
The thought did flit through my mind that if I didn’t know any better, this was how I imagined the start of a period to feel.
However, I haven’t had a period for over a year, because I’m not friends with Red at the moment, so I put the thought out of mind.
I ate a small dinner and curled up in my bed for the night at 7.30pm.
This morning I woke up feeling fucking awesome just like my old self.
I did a bit of a workout, went to get in the shower and guess what?
I had started my period.
No signs for the Universe that I need to address, other than time to chill out and rest – which I did instinctively.
I’m not a lazy slob for not wanting to work out last night.
I don’t need to work out my avoidance issues.
I had a genuine, bonafide hormonal imbalance and my ‘illness’ was my body saying ‘wtf is this? You haven’t been around for a LONG time.’