As women in business, we are combining both masculine and feminine energy. When we are also mothers, we are providing that maternal role to our children but also to our clients, and it can be so easy to feel overwhelmed. We have many pulls on our time, many places we want to be.
We can quickly feel that we should not be compromising on time with our children and also we can feel the same about our businesses.
We may have an inner voice telling us we cannot have it all – that we shouldn’t want it all, or we may have someone outside making us feel this way.
This is such a common scenario. We hold ourselves back, we keep ourselves small, in order to feel safe and to feel like we are doing the ‘right’ thing.
We feel guilty if we go against this.
I could write a whole book on guilt and the effect it has on our lives. It plays havoc with our self-esteem and makes us doubt our choices.
We feel guilty and ashamed of asking for help. We think if we cannot do it all ourselves, we should not be doing it. This expectation that we are supposed to be superwoman can be crushing.
We can also feel judged, which can bring on the guilt and shame even more.
Again, we are held back, we play small, we play it safe.
As with everything, it all comes down to the inner work, but also some outer work too.
Here are my tips to scale up and step out of this cycle:
- Understand the fact that you have spent your life trying to fit in but as a business owner you need to step up and stand out. Understand that the conditioning we have had in order to ensure that we play by ‘the rules’ is just that – conditioning. We can work to undo this in the same way that we have got to thinking in this way. We can reframe and use mindset techniques like meditation, affirmations and journaling to think in a new way, to rewire our brain.
It is safe to stand out
It is safe to be different
It is safe for me to earn multiple 6 figures
It is safe for me to be a mother and run a business
- Get really clear on who is important, e.g. your family or the person you don’t know on the internet who is triggered by you so you worry about them commenting on your posts? Who are you doing this for? Whenever you feel triggered by judgement, remind yourself of this.
- Know why you are doing this, and go back to this every time you feel the fear. Go back to your why and use that to drive you forward and move beyond the judgement, guilt or whatever it is that is holding you back.
- Start outsourcing. Bring people into your business in whatever way works for you. I had a super inspirational chat with Natasha Bray in Making Babies + Making Bank and she spoke of her cleaner coming an hour every 2 weeks as her first team member. This kind of outsourcing will open up space and time, and although we can feel that we should not spend our money on this type of service, we are uplevelling and more money will come. Going back to the superwoman reference earlier, we are not meant to be doing this alone.
- Think about what a multiple-6-figure business owner does. How does she live her life? What choices does she make? Then do exactly this. Getting into the mindset of the multiple-6-figure business owner that you want to be opens up the space energetically to get there.
- Reinvest money into your business. Whether this is outsourcing as said above (a cleaner, a VA, Facebook ads, someone to help with childcare, etc.), new equipment or a business coach, we need to spend money in order to make money. We need to grow and learn. Always.
- You need to do the work that you get other people to do. This is so important. We cannot solve all our own problems. We need our own therapist and/or coach. This work is never complete. There is always a new layer to work through to get to the next level. Without fail, work on yourself, and your business will grow.
You can watch the episode of Making Babies + Making Bank with Natasha Bray here: