Stop beating yourself up
Let me start by asking you, how are you doing today?
I hope that you are feeling the vibe today but I recognise that sometimes we’re not always our best. And that is okay.
When things don’t go to plan or aren’t quite working out for you I know you’re feeling tired, a bit sad and frustrated too. But you need to stop beating yourself up.
It’s okay not to be okay
At the end of the day, saying to yourself ‘I should’ve been more organised’ or ‘I should’ve got this sorted out by now’ definitely doesn’t help. I want you to know that I sometimes too get it wrong. I am only human. And when we find ourselves in this situation, it’s important to remember that. That we’re having a normal human experience.
It doesn’t matter how enlightened, awakened or conscious we become. There are always going to be things that don’t go to plan and don’t go in the way that we thought that they were going to, because we are only in control of ourselves. We are not in control of our friends, kids, family or all of the millions of things that are happening around us at any given moment in time.
So what do we do when our best self falls down? Is it as easy to just dust yourself off and get back up?
The biggest lesson for me when you find yourself like this is self acceptance. It’s about being able to observe all of those things you’re feeling and experiencing, with full awareness. Otherwise it becomes super problematic when you have no idea that you are not at your best self. You can’t make good decisions in that place.
It’s remembering that it is really our inner child acting out and who feels confused, unsafe or unheard. And what happens when we feel like this, is we berate ourselves for getting it wrong for not being the person that we know that we need to be in that moment.
But instead of doing this, the real invitation is to soothe yourself. By getting really quiet and asking yourself, how is it that you’re really feeling right now? What is really wrong here? Then listen and tune in to where your pain and suffering is that you are trying to expel to other people. Acknowledge that and yourself then soothe that pain by being kind to yourself.
The inner work
Just like onions and it’s layers, the inner work is never really done.
like onions and it’s layers. Like the work is never done. There is no destination. You’re not going to wake up one day as this enlightened being who never messes up, because you’re human and that is totally and utterly okay.
The quickest and most effective way to move through any of those challenging feelings or behaviours is to self-soothe and to love yourself anyway.
E.g. ‘I’ve been a dick and I love myself anyway, I got it wrong and I love myself anyway.’
The more you’re able to name it and love yourself anyway, you will feel yourself expanding. Then you can allow that pain and suffering to move through you and choose, way more consciously, what the best next step is going to be. Whether it be saying sorry or moving on or maybe making a different plan for next time. You’re going to be able to access those things so much more quickly when you act from a place of self-compassion, self-love and self-acceptance.
So if you’re feeling less than okay and it’s not great at the moment for you, know that it gets to be. It gets to shift and it gets to transmute.
You are always enough, even in your messiness.