When Good Enough, is Great!
So, for those of you have been following my posts you will already know that he Duchess of Cambridge is my BFF and I won’t have a word said against her. However, as news filters out into the press from well-meaning friends – not me, I hastened to add – about how ‘perfect’ her birth was, it occurred to me, how glad I am, that I don’t have to sit on such a very high pedestal every, single day.
I mean don’t get me wrong, I get it, Kate is perfect. She’s had the perfect birth, she’s got the perfect hairdresser, she’s got the perfect Jenny Packham dress, she is perfection personified and that is as it should be, because she is not just a Princess, she is our future Queen. However, there’s definitely part of me, that wonders about the part of her, that’s still just a little bit Kate Middleton…The bit that isn’t The Princess, the bit that’s just like you and me, because it’s that bit, I worry about a little bit….Because in the real world, where quite often, we’re not married to the perfect partner, don’t have the perfect job, hair, pets, children we often feel the pressure to act as though we do. Paradoxically, often, it’s the preoccupation we have with trying to attain perfection or the façade of perfection, that actually creates exactly the opposite of what we’re looking to achieve.
During the weekend, I was fortunate enough to be attend an amazing lecture on the dynamics of relationships. The lecturer is a fantastic therapist who goes by the name of Sally-Anne Doulsby; she spoke about how the structure of our earliest relationships, colours our world view and our take on relationships for the rest of our lives. I hear the audible gasps of fear as the pressure of perfection weighs even more heavily on our shoulders. Listen to me when I say breathe…The resounding message from this brilliant psychotherapist, psychologist and perinatal educator, is that it isn’t the yearning for perfection in parenthood that will create well balanced, well rounded, kind, caring and successful children, who later become successful adults. Did you read that??? In fact, it will only be when we’re able to let go of the need for everything to look perfect, be perfect, sound perfect and be perceived as perfect, that we will be able to relax, let go, enjoy and be present. And by being able to accept that we’re not always going to get it right, and that actually, if we can just be good enough…Most of the time…You might be surprised to read, that from our children’s perspective good enough, is usually great.
So Kate, if perfection comes to you as effortlessly as it looks then great, but if not, remember not to try too hard, because as parents, it isn’t the pursuit of perfect parenting that will allow our children to grow, thrive and flourish. If we can only aim to be good enough, most of the time, we will not only nurture our children’s greatness, but start to notice our own.
Photo credits: http://www.flickr.com/x/t/0090009/photos/danehav/